Time & Memory: Character Building in a Child

A child develops memory based on what it spends time upon. Both memory and time shapes the child’s character. Obviously the child exposure to TV, Cartoon, YouTube will develop its memory in that sense & taste. A child is very curious. It opens its eyes and photographs everything into its memory. If it keeps getting exposed to same scenes then it gets into its long term memory. That long term memory shapes that child to grow as an individual adult. In today’s cartoon, depictions are always extra ORDINARY Viz., violence, destruction, fight. If it is simple and ordinary, it will be boring. So they make it extra ordinary to lure the child. So the child gets SEASONED to the bad things as OKAY things.

Now how do you build good memory in the child? That should be by exposing more time to good things & less time to bad things. Is that so easy? How do you do that? For that, you need to develop a routine or a regime for the child. Not a military regime. But a relaxed one which has some space for TV & outing also.

Below are listed some of the must do routine to be included in your child’s routine. This is relevant for child from 5yrs to 15yrs. Beyond 15yrs also upto the end of life it is relevant. But if it is followed till 15yrs then it is easy to continue. If it needs to be picked up later years it is a bit difficult.

Parent’s time with the child = As much as possible. Min 20mins daily. Average 3hrs per day.

Firstly parenting is important. You got to dedicate your own time to the child. Your time to the child is more important than a driver’s or a maid’s time. Even grandparents can only pamper. True love has to be through time spending from parents.  Even if others are good, it is important the child imbibes good things from its parents. Then only it gets its belongingness, reverence & love. Then only the child respects the good habits as followed by its parents than someone else. Both parents should make sure to spend at a minimum 20mins every day and average 2-3hrs per day with the child. This time should be quality interaction time. Not like child is playing by itself and parent is seeing TV or reading.

Physical Activity/ Sports = 1-2hrs daily

Sports are an absolute necessary for growing children. A child above 5years old should have a daily routine of 1-2hrs after school sports. It should be with other kids. Only then it develops tolerance, competitiveness, facing failure, fight to win, respect for rules, reasoning abilities and all the good things. It gets hurt also, but will know how to recoup & not give up. A child gets to feel others pains and develops compassion.  

 

Daily children have to have physical exercise through sports for overall health of the body including mind. It ensues good healthy breathing and supply of blood and oxygen to all parts of the body including brain. The brain development is necessary for good memory.

 

Daily Recitation & Story Reading = 30mins to 1hr.

This is another good aspect to be introduced as a daily routine either morning or evening. If parent cannot spend time for this, you can look for nearby Sai Mandir, or a Mutt, or a Temple or a Bala Bharathi or Bala Gokula, Bala Shibira etc., where such activities will be conducted.

 

Or if you want to start yourself one “Bala Bharathi”, I can help you with suitable materials, quarterly changes to the routine recitation etc., In your neighborhood or apartment complex, you can have someone take the lead and have backups. If 5-6 kids come together that would be good enough to start one. If more kids are there, then more volunteers can support & create more classes.

 

Daily recitation develops fantastic memory. It develops musical memory. Some people think it will burden the child. Absolutely not. It will expand its ability to absorb. For example, I know in some schools, through daily recitation, an average 8 year old has learnt Vishnu Sahasranamam, Hanuman Chalisa, Bhagavad Gita 10^th Adhyaya. All of it by heart. Not only that, they pick up latest Bollywood blockbusters also easily. They are normal children and not prodigies.

 

When it is beautiful and musical, it is not burden. Trust me, any number of such beautiful shlokas can be easily learnt without feeling any burden. They stay in a child’s long term memory, any day to retrieve and analyze.

 

Some Visiting Chinese Scholar in ancient India had remarked that an average Indian Gurukula boy would have an entire library of books by heart by the time he reaches 16 year old. That is true and possible if that library of books is musical and recital.

 

For example, the Ekatmatha sthothra covers hundreds of great Indian scientists, great women, warriors, literatures, writers, freedom fighters etc., It is easy to recite and remember. Compare that with that of a bland history chapter in our children textbook. Which one will stay long in memory? Similarly Maslow’s hierarchy theory was postulated well in Upanishads and well depicted in ‘Kagga’ poems by DV Gundappa in Kannada well before Maslow. It is so easy and beautiful to remember and recite.

 

The Human Memory Tree is depicted here. The Musical memory is special and expandable.   By reciting good slokas and poems, we can utilize this very well to memorize many life defining useful morals. We must utilize it well and make it part of our daily routine.

Other types of classes:

Other classes in urban culture are prevalent like – Abacus Maths, Vedic Maths, Spelling development, Music, Dance, Painting, Arts, Robotics etc., All are good habits. Obviously you cannot put the child into all of these things, but you can slice the time into some of these depending upon interest. But the child has the capacity to absorb it. Do not underestimate its capacity. Nothing is burdening or confusing the child. You can be rest assured it is all going to expand child’s capacity. None of these will hamper or confuse or burden its mind. Trust me, it will only expand its capacity and not shrink it.

If you put the child in these classes, it will be a constructive good time spent even if he doesn’t excel there. It will keep him away from the other bad lures & filling his memory with unwanted things.

School related homework = 1 to 2hrs

If you do most of the above, then you can be sure, the child will be able to do effective homework easily. It will not feel any burden. When the child juggles around many things, it doesn’t get bored and burdened. The job gets done easily. It is just that these days parents get more work in their kid’s homework that bothers us L.

TV & Other Time pass

TV, Cartoons, YouTube are all timepass with no use. It should be used as a relaxation. It would be good relaxation if it comes in between for 10mins, 15 mins in a day. But if it is the only thing after school or in weekends, then your child will under utilize its mind’s capacity and become dull or pick up wrong morals.